Hincapie La Fawnduh

Location: Greenville, SC 

As good as yesterday was, riding in the Hincapie Gran Fondo, today has been the perfect storm. I've been knocking shit over, tripping on shit, and generally feeling like anything I touch or come into contact with has got a bad thing coming. I half-expect the chair I am sitting on to just decide it is sick and tired of keeping me off the ground. 

Yesterday, I was up at 5:30AM in order to drive myself the 22 miles to the parking area for the Hincapie ride. I thought of everything except the fact that it would be pitch black and the three mile ride from the parking area to the start/finish might be hairy without lighting.

Hand Fed Love

More than occasionally in my travels I come across people who need something fixed. Or they need a new set of eyes on a situation that they have been exhausted by. Or they just simply need to be told that no matter what; it will all be ok. I tell them that it will be. It's a mental hand-feed, and I'm happy to oblige.  

I know the complexity of this feeling because I too have been burdened, even handcuffed, almost all of my conscious life by anxieties, darkness, bouts of depression, things I can't control. I know what it is like to want to sleep all day, to avoid the reality, to run, run, and keep running until it's quiet again.

Dumb Luck

Location: Asheville, NC

 The begin has begun. I'm into day two and already it's been worth the while. I didn't leave with any (many) expectations but it's all been utterly copacetic from the flag drop. I feel that lightness again. Just a tip of the toes at this point, but I have some good wind and I had some good signs that this is my destiny. 

I made a video for the past couple of days, and I'm not sure why since they take my fucking forever to edit because I am a one man show and my only source of production opinion. I never know how they will be received, but I do know that I love watching them a year later, on my couch, getting inspired for the next adventure.

Maybe that's their real purpose. Here ya go:

Exodus Part Two: the beginning.

Tomorrow at high noon I'll be skipping town again. I may have said before I am not as light in spirit as I was last time around, but I think that's just because I have a better idea of what to expect. I will admit to a more melancholy feeling this time, because this summer I got a lot closer to my family. In particular, my relationship with my brother and his kids; huge leaps. 

Last time I wasn't thinking much about what I would miss, I was just thinking of what I had been missing. This time there is a bit more guilt. But that quickly diminishes when I remember the rush of the unknown.

Feeling Jumpy

All I have every wanted is simplicity. In all offerings. Maybe that's why I'm perpetually single, but it could be why I'm perpetually single and content. I love to be in love, I am in love with love, and when I am not in love, I'm never trashing the idea either. I never wonder if it's all worth it.

I don't subscribe to the notion that love is work. The only three times I've been in love I made hardly any effort. I've given a ton of myself and made compromises and fought and bled and cried and suffered for the ones I love(d), but they could never be labeled as efforts.

Talk Nerdy to Me

Fuses got some matches put to them in the last couple of days. It's officially on, but it's a limp start, not like the well campaigned Exodus of the last fiscal year. This time around, the preface is the Hincapie Gran Fondo down in South Carolina followed by four days at a little cottage in Athens, GA. Past that, we'll see what stumbles into us. 

It's a start and momentum, for me, gains speed quickly once its given a green light. I've been reticent this time around to get any cogs rotating because of work. I still have a business and people who depend on me to make sure they have a place to go in the morning and a paycheck on Friday.