More than occasionally in my travels I come across people who need something fixed. Or they need a new set of eyes on a situation that they have been exhausted by. Or they just simply need to be told that no matter what; it will all be ok. I tell them that it will be. It's a mental hand-feed, and I'm happy to oblige.I know the complexity of this feeling because I too have been burdened, even handcuffed, almost all of my conscious life by anxieties, darkness, bouts of depression, things I can't control. I know what it is like to want to sleep all day, to avoid the reality, to run, run, and keep running until it's quiet again.
Those of us who have been challenged by these things; we need to stick together. It's easy as well, to do that, since I am convinced we have our own scent.
When in a group, I can smell the troubled ones. I can smell the adventurous, playful ones. It must be true, because I know that I am unlike most people, and yet the people I end up talking to, really connecting with, are very much like me. That just can't be coincidence, that's gotta be some five-percenter-stink.
I got some feedback from a couple of people I have met in just the last couple of days. I'm not going to tell you what they said but it was so nice that I had to read it over and over again and then wonder to myself "is this me they are talking about?"
And yeah, it's me they are thanking for listening, and thanking for reminding them that life outside the rut is scary but rewarding, and for reminding them that you have to trust that you will get what you deserve, in time, and that the only way you will ever fail, ever, is if you give up.
And that you can't control everything. You. Can't.
As I have said before: “I'm afraid too. We are all afraid. Everyone around you, all the people you know and see no matter what you may think you see, they are all afraid of something. But sooner or later you're going to have to make the decision that you're tired of that, and you will have to take it in baby steps and if you keep doing that, then one day you will look back and wonder: how the fuck did I get what I wanted all of a sudden?”
I know I have a habit of not feeling worthy of compliments, and I respond to them awkwardly, but man, that's just another way of saying "I don't feel worthy of being loved" and I'm on a mission to rid myself of that. So I accept and I thank you for letting me know you appreciate me.
I'm just having the best time ever. And I'm excited for tomorrow. And I feel that great, even though I'm in a hotel room in a town I've never been, where I have no friends, because I know and I believe that it will all be ok.
Chapter 2, Subsection 1: The RIDE:
I guess the second year of my expeditions got some traction after reading an article about some great climbs in the US. One of them was up Mount Mitchell in Asheville, NC.
So I hit it, and it was a glorious thing. When videos are present, it's best to shut the fuck up. So I will do that.
Here you go:
