Zed's Dead Baby

Date: March 26th, 2013    Location: Whangarei, New Zealand

Even the hottest water seems cold after a while. Yes, people do get sick of sunsets. Yes, beautiful things and happy times, they all fade in vibrance, given time. Its not you, it's science. Science has shown that, in the long run, losing $20 out of your wallet is no more substantially life-changing that winning millions in the lottery. It is also scientifically proven that "getting there" is often more than half the fun, as the anticipation of a goal is consistently more gratifying than it's achievement.

So what? Is nothing worth it then?

The Sum Up

Date: March 25th, 2013   Location: Whangarei, New Zealand

Wow, I have not updated in a while. Got one percolating though, for the whole week now.
But I should give a sum-up.
Rented a quad bike on 90 miles beach.
Drove to KeriKeri, spent two nights there on a farm (pictures). Went for a ride, wasn't feeling it.
Drove to Russell. Planned one night, spent three. Gorgeous little town. Just my speed. Ate at sunset every single night at the Duke of Marlborough. Lots of green lipped mussels and oysters and lots of books to choose from. I read "The Book of Knowledge,", volumes G and F, written in 1970.
Went for two rides there. Discovered the most beautiful piece of road pavement I've come across in NZ. One ride was a little over 80K and over 7,000vft. I felt out of my body the whole time (more later on this.)
Drove to Whangarei, where I am now. Planning on ride tomorrow and then it's a plane to Maui on the 28th. Finally got hotel booked. Keeping my fingers crossed. Since I waited so long, there wasn't much to choose from.

Video of the ATV rental:

I Bike WIth A Loose Horse

I came upon a horse today. He was a very curious horse, not just because he was walking along a very deserted twisty road with a broken rope still wrapped around his neck and trailing underneath his hooves, but because of the way the brown and the white on him streaked his body less like a horse and more like a zebra. And his face, which was all white, and his eyes, which were a very very light blue, gave him the appearance of an albino, if that is a trait a horse can have. I couldn’t say. 

But I have never seen a horse with such blue eyes. Both of them; steely, icy blue. 

Talk To The Donkey

Location: Paihia, New Zealand 
I included this picture because I desperately want to prove to myself that the reason that some of my posts seem to be conspicuously over-read is not because they include pictures of women (my most popular post included a picture of three hot Portuguese women), but because of it's content. Not that I give a sheepshit, but it'll be interesting to see. By the way, that's the New Zealand Olympic team. I triple checked to make sure. 

Content: I had a kind of eureka-day. After staying at a crazy insane quiet BNB in the middle of nowhere, just like I like it, and where I was the only guest and treated like a King, I drove 350km's to Paihia, way up in the Bay of Islands. It was the kind of drive to induce a heart attack, if you are on that cliff, and since there are only a couple of bad radio stations to listen to, I began making some voice memos on my phone.

No More Yanky In Wangy?

Location: Wanganui, New Zealand  Ride #: 4

It’s the quiet one that catches my attention. The one not on the map, the one not with the flowing locks and the pretty eyes and the short skirt, but the one just shadowed behind them, the bashful one with the libidinous grin that says "I know exactly what it is that you want." Those are the places, and people, that catch my eye.

Wanganui was just supposed to be a stopover between Wellington and I did not know what. Just get me a hotel there and then I’ll get on to Auckland and back to Australia, I thought. But Wanganui had beautiful secrets to tell me, and I was in the mood for listening. 

The Rare Kiwi Polylemma

Location: Waganui, NZ  Ride: here

Oh man, am I glad I decided to chill out. I was faced with a juicy polylemma. Don’t know what that is? Neither did I until I realized that I wasn’t in the dilemma I thought I was in, but one that involved too many roads to choose, none of which I found particularly appetizing, and that, my friends, is a polylemma. Look it up. 

Yesterday, all of New Zealand could go fuck itself. That what I was thinking. I was so soured after a very close call with a trucker that I was deep in struggle. I wanted, oh, I deeply wanted to let the beauty affect me, but I was so very busy upstairs thinking of everything and why they guy in the silver SUV gave me the finger, completely unprovoked, and why that trucker, with 800 meters of clear road on his right, decided to come within a foot of my head. 

This Post Is A Video

Location: Nelson, New Zealand

Since I am not quite done my rant about why I have decided to cut my New Zealand trip short by three weeks and hot-foot it back to Australia, I present the most infuriating video I have ever edited/produced/done. It could provide some evidence as to why I am going back there.

You will need two drinks to get through this one. There is a pause button on youtube, so use it if you like. And watch it in HD for fucks sake, it took me 6 hours to upload it to you in that quality.

Oh, and I thank you.

Its OK not to like paradise.

Location: Lake Taupo, NZ  Rides: here 

Since Auckland I had a shitty ride in Tauranga. I chased that with a shitty ride in Rotorua, although my hotel room did have an awesome view of the lake, shielded in the foreground nicely by a Pizza Hut.  I was also tempted by the pokies (slot machines) apparently, since my bank statement tells me so. I had meant to update with some doozies in the meanwhile, but I have been in wifi drought for three days, so those thoughts are behind me now. It took me almost two hours just to map out my ride today since I had to drive around town looking for wifi, then four times it cut out on me. I was the guy sitting outside the supermarket in the orange Ssangyong rental car cursing all of creation.