I have been thinking of badges a lot lately. Powerful little things, badges. The boy scouts and the military figured this out a long, long time ago indeed. For example, and I did not make this up, I present the the most pathetic boy-scout badge ever; the “Respect Copyrights Activity Patch,” awarded for turning in your buddy for his pirated copy of Avatar. Little snitches will line up for badges like ants on candy.
I’m thinking of them because I am a member of a site called
Strava, and also a member of a competing site called RidewithGPS. Neither of
these names make it obvious regarding their content or purpose, but then again
Google wasn’t even a word until 2001.
Both are sites where you can log your cycling and running
activities. Simply put; it’s a facebook for cyclists. And it’s beginning to
develop some growing pains, just like their retarded, abused, TMI-filled cousin.
The main point of contention is the issue of the “segment.”
Segments are portions of a road, ideally a mountainous uphill, or a long flat
ITT segment, or your favorite ride, but can also be anything as ridiculous as a
100 meter sprint or a steep downhill.
Point is, anyone can make a segment out of any piece of shit stretch of road they want, and then every single rider who had ever been on that segment gets ranked
against all the rest. And not just their friends, but every member of the site
who has ever ridden that section, including professional riders at the highest
level of the sport.
If you are the fastes, you get
a “KOM.” It means King of the Mountain. You remember the game…you played it on
your bed, or on a pile of sand, when you were a kid. Stand on top, and take on
your friends to unseat you.
The difference between your childhood game and a KOM on Strava is that no one really gave a shit who won the childhood game, you didn’t debate the playing field for weeks
on end, and it was a fucking mountain, not a downhill.
Cyclists are bat-shit about being better than other cyclists,
and I’m talking just on the amateur level. This is not a recent phenomenon, but
the ability to measure it in a quantitative manner, for all the others to see
and scrutinize, is.
Good or bad? Firmly on the fence.
 |
| The "I tried, but he just kept yapping, so I let him drown." patch. |
·
Bad:
- Amateur cycling is at its very core an individualist endeavor. It is not a sport; it is an art, in my belief. It should be all at once elegant, graceful, powerful, thought provoking, beautiful, painful, adventurous, challenging, and if you get it just right; euphoric. To make it competitive is to strip it of a good deal of those adjectives.
- When I stop thinking about enjoying my ride, and the beauty of all that I see in the thousands of miles I travel, and start, instead, thinking of a witty name for my ride once I upload it for my friends to see, than I consider this a strike against the philosophy of riding.
- The way the segments are calculated doesn’t put all the eligible riders on an even playing field. If one guy goes out and gets all the green lights and happens upon the stop signs with no opposing traffic, even if he goes slower (while moving) than a faster rider who has to stop everywhere where the other guy didn’t, well, loser becomes winner.
- If you live near a professional rider, kiss every single available KOM goodbye. That is a land war with Asia, group ride or not.
- If it’s not quantifiable, and it’s not an even playing field, then KOM’s become meaningless. Which means I longer care. Which means I no longer am motivated to win them. Which means I leave the site.
Good:
- It’s motivating. I ride more now than I ever have. I ride harder than I ever have. I’m seeking out iconic rides, can’t-miss lifetime ascents. I see my friends picking up their mileage, doing sweet rides, and we can all pat (click) each other on the back.
- When I travel, all the guesswork is gone. I simply look for a ride where I am going, about the length I want to go, download an existing ride to my GPS, and go. It usually works out about 90% of the time, which is 100% better than grabbing a map and taking chances.
- I can see my improvement or decline. I can see all of my efforts on the rides I do over and over again, and I can see if I’m getting stronger, or eating too many cheetos.
I’m
sick of “how many miles a week do you ride?” and “it’s just a rest
day.” It's ok just to be riding your bike and nothing else.
Yes,
I’ll stay on the websites, because the fun and the infuriation balance out. But there is a strong, strong, simple
side of me that just wants to chuck my motherfucking GPS into the woods, along
with my laptop, and go for a ride.
It’ll
be just a beautiful memory, like it used to be.
