Fuck It. Life Is A Risk.

Location: Warrnambool, Australia  Ride: here  Pics: here

Man, my brain is full today. I just kept filling it up and it just kept not overflowing. I realized a couple of days ago, while somewhat stagnant in Adelaide, that I was getting bored. While seemingly impossible, it apparently is not. And that got me thinking as to why, and that brought me to this: I should be doing and seeing more. Just riding my bike, while my greatest joy and my primary reason for being here, is not enough to feel emotionally replete.


So, I decided I would do more touristy shit. I'm not at the museum stage yet, but I'm making a departure from the norm. And holy shit, was I rewarded. I took every turn and every sign that pointed towards something and, well, I'll start at last night.

Blue Lake at Mount Gambie

I went for a ride which passed by the Blue Lake, which is a lake atop an inactive volcano in Mount Gambier, and sort of a mystery to everyone. It is steel blue for most of the year, but at this time of the year, for a reason no one can adequately explain, turns to a rich, cobalt blue. It's really quite stunning, although no swimming is allowed since it is the source of drinking water to the town, although I still call bullshit on that rule.

In the evening, I went to the Umpherston Sinkhole, which is a beautiful garden set down into the ground about a 100 feet or so. It was once a cave, but in 1886, or thereabouts, the roof collapsed, making way for this gorgeous sunken garden. I was too early to see the opossums come to feed at sundown, but I imagine they were pretty gross looking, like all opossums tend to be.

Oh, crap. I completely skipped over the shit part of my ride. Or, as I am more inclined to say "the part of my ride where I had to make the best of a shitty situation and did." Right after a hard interval, I coasted to a yield and as soon as I put power back in the crank I heard something crack, or pop, but it was loud.

Umpherston Sinkhole

I had snapped a spoke. I immediately threw a massive hissy fit and cursed the fuck out of everything. And then as soon as I was over that, along came Cheryl and her 25 year old Holden wagon. And when she stopped and I asked her if she would give me a lift, she dabbed out her cigarette and said "yeah, aww right then."

So that's how I come to be in a bike shop in Mt. Gambier, which had no mechanic on duty. But luckily, they had a spoke, and not ever having done it before, I was able to replace the spoke and true the wheel up and get on my way.

This morning, the only real thing planned was to driver to Warrnambool, about 250k away. I figured it would be a quick trip to a sleepy town, go for a ride, have a steak and fight with the WIFI all night.

I was incorrect. Which is the best part about not knowing anything and not having expectations and walking down an alien path. Take note: you must be willing to go out of your way. Rarely will anything terribly interesting be along a highway.

Aw, you sweet one. 

When I stopped for gas and a coffee, the two very nice ladies there agreed to school me on Australian coffee names. Long black, short black, flat white, etc. I had been having flat whites for two weeks and still not exactly sure what they constituted. One also agreed to be on film. I had a Dim Sim (a beef and vegetable dumpling that is deep fried) and also a meat pie. Finally, a gas station meat pie. I had wanted one since I got here. My farts were amazing and robust.

About 50k in I saw the sign for the Piccanninie Ponds, which I had remembered wanting to go to. "The fresh ground water filtering up through the limestone has been forming this crystal clear ponds for thousand of years." That's what I remember reading. But today, not so much, not crystal at least. More like crystal manhandled by someone with lots of moisturizer on their hands. So milky clear, would be closer.

Still, I was all alone and I took a dip. It was very cold and very short because right before you get to the point where swimming is possible (by permit only, for people who like to follow rules) there is a list of all of the unsavory creatures waiting to attack you. Man-eating eels, and leeches, and, well, thats enough for me. I'm a real pussy when it comes to water, I admit. I am a child of the "Jaws" generation and not really even comfortable taking a bath.

The next blind turn was into some vast man-made forest, since this is a major forestry area. I followed that road for about 6K until it ended at at Lake Mombeong. There were a lot of little black water critters  there, ducks of some sort. I just enjoyed flooring the pedal on those long dirt roads and pulling some hand-brakes and generally exercising my inner red-neck.

There was no one around, so it was kosher. I took a brief walk through the forest, bouncing on the soft bed of pine needles, listening to the strange coos of birds I had never heard before, and thinking of the Endor scenes from Return of the Jedi.

Next up was the "Crags", an ancient and significant aboriginal settlement area. Located on the coast, it is a gorgeous architecture of limestone cliffs and rounded eddies formed over the last 200,000 years. Hunreds of generations (or so the sign said) of aboriginals lived and fished this area, and the very large obvious island to the southwest holds the largest popultion of fur seals anywhere (30,000 or roughly 30% of the world population.)

So this would be a good place to spot a Great White, should you be inclined. Although the sign also pointed out that a famous Australian documentarian gave his left leg, in a literal fashion, to film those seals in 1975.

By the way, don't fucking quote me on any of this crap. This is from an increasingly foggy memory, but I can guarantee it's pretty damn close. Most of it.

Once in Warrnambool, at at my hotel with my lovely host Nadine, who is a cyclist by chance, and rides a Wilier by chance, I was bent on a nap. But I couldn't help myself and got dressed for a ride. The wind was insane, I got lost since I had no wifi to download a ride, and ended up on a dirt road for a solid kilometer that shook me senseless. It's actually a strava segment and its called "roubaix section." That is no lie. I only did 50K but that was all I had time for.

I had more to suck from this day.

Dinner at the Warnambool Hotel, because it had wifi, and surprisingly, an impressive amount of younger people. Its a surf town, so were there are surfers, there are generally hot girls. So was the case. I got started on this entry and afterwards, made my way down to the beach, where I was told I could find two small islands, inhabited by two species: (1) Little Penguins and (2) Italian guard dogs.

That's really them. True shit. 

I think I saved the best for last. Yeah, so, over time the Little Penguins in this area suffered heavily from fox and dog predation. From 600 birds in 2000 they got eaten down to less than 10 in 2005.

So these inventive Aussies took two Maremma Guardian Dogs; big mammoth, italian, white, wolf looking dogs and trained them to protect the penguins. They live on the island together, just the two of them, making castles in the sand.

The rangers care for the dogs, the dogs care for the penguins, and the penguins do I have no idea what, but they dont get eaten. That's a cool story.

Goddamn, that was some learning I just brought. Do you feel as full as I felt? Probably not because you'd really have to see it all for yourself; see that (dog/penguin) island silhouetted by the nearly full moon, hear those waves slowly biting away at the Crags, the cold water of Picanninnie as the wind catches your skin, smell the pines and hear the nothing that they make, the crunch and the saltiness of the Dim Sim, and the tone of the giggle from the lady at the gas station.

I wish I could bottle it up and give it to you, share it with you. I am no master at words or photographs, but I hope maybe there is just a little salt water in your nose from all of it.