Desires Disappoint, Action Does not

Location: Austin, TX
Date: 11.23.11
Video: here
Pictures: here

I was feeling very desirous today. I didn't know exactly of what but there was a feeling in my stomach like a wee bit of anger and a little desire and both of those things tend to freeze me right up.

I think it was because that I was told something would happen, something that was good, and it didn't happen. It's like that feeling that you are pretty sure you are going to get that one thing that you wanted for Christmas and you open up all these other great presents and if you dont get that ONE thing, then all the other presents, eh, whatever.



Like a little kid surrounded by toys, he picks up one, then you pick up one, and he wants the one you have. Once he gets it, he throws it down and grabs another, and so on and so froth. Yes, I meant froth.

And thats the thing I have been thinking about lately. Desire and expectations and how they meld and confuse and disappoint.

No expectations are better. Always. But it isn't any easy thing to load them into the boat and set it to sea ablaze. It takes a great deal of practice. I've been at it for three years so far, roughly. And I'm right near the summit I think.

And as Thanksgiving comes along, I think that's it's unfortunate that many people only take one day of the year to give thanks for whatever they have. The truth is, most people spend the rest of the year wanting. Wanting what others have, envying relationships they don't have, dresses and cars and thick hair and you name it, and somehow all that they do have, all the wonderful things they possess within themselves and all the fulfillment around them, somehow all that becomes achingly out of focus.

As in the girl I met the other night who was complaining that a girl was following her around the bar and clearly loved her and had for some time and she was a really cute girl, but she really wasn't her type. And it was frustrating her.

And I asked her "think about the alternative...what if there was no one who felt that way about you? What if you didn't have anyone there to say that they loved you?"

And then she looked at me and she said "I like the way you think."

So I went for a ride. And it was glorious. And all that I desired and wanted, they slowly fell out of focus and this came into perfect view: a beautiful sunny day in the mountains on my bike, and no place I would rather be.

Tranquility and desire, this town ain't big enough.

Take a ride with me: